shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize