Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
