Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
