You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Randomize
