he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
