You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
