he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
