im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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