I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
