You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
operation harelip BJ is a go
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
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