Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
