Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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