Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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