You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
