Your mouth is God's brothel.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
