I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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