margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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