Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I'm always down for nudity.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
