I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
