trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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