yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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