Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
this will be a night to untag.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
