im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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