Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
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my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
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