I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
