You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
