I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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