Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
