So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
