so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
