whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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