Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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