Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
