we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
