She is in my trunk
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
