it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
