Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
