I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
