some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
