I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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