Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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