This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
