So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
