Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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