OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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