Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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