yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
