It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize