maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Two words: nipple clamps
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