You made me cry and you don't even care
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
she was so not down for the gang bang
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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