Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
