Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
