roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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