Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
