just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize