Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
