thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
