I saw his package. It spoke to me.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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