i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
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