last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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