guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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