I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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