Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes