I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore