my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.