I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary