I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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