I bet he comes in French.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
